Best friends Maryann and Denise have been inseparable since moving into apartments at HomeGround, the central city hub of the Auckland City Mission – Te Tāpui Atawhai. They live in apartments across the hall from each other, they’re actively involved in the HomeGround tenant community and are always laughing and smiling.

But their lives have been far from easy – both survived decades of domestic violence before finding freedom and a safe home at HomeGround. “If you’d come from the lives we’ve come from, you’d be laughing now too. I feel very privileged to be at HomeGround,” says Maryann.

Denise had a difficult childhood. When she was 9 years old, she found out that the woman she thought was “my mum was actually my nana” and one of her older sisters was actually her birth mother. “I never forgot that [moment] because it just blew my head. It made my life go a bit freaky.”

Denise grew up with drugs and alcohol all around. “It was normal for me. I used to watch everyone being stoned. I started dabbling when I was nine.”

“I had my first blast when I ran away at sixteen. I ran away to this guy. He was already married and had kids but they’d split up.”

Maryann’s childhood could not have been more different:

“I’m the opposite – I grew up with everything that I needed. My parents were public servants, I had a roof over my head, food on the table.”

“To this day, I don’t know what started me off in drugs, I can’t blame anybody but myself. I tried drugs and I liked it.”

“The first time I ever injected drugs, I was 17 or 18 and I overdosed. Luckily the guy that gave it to me knew what to do. But I went straight back the next day for more. And that was it. From then on, it just progressed. I’ve done it all. Until I got pregnant with my first son.”

For both Maryann and Denise, it was finding out they were pregnant that gave them the incentive to stop using hard drugs, and they were both prescribed methadone to give up heroin.

Maryann: “Neither of my babies were planned, but they were very much wanted. I went on methadone when I found I was pregnant because I knew that you can’t look after babies when you’re looking for drugs. I was always worried that they would be born with habits, but they’re both intelligent young men.”

Denise: “I’ve told my son, he saved me. I broke the cycle, and so did Maryann. We both broke the cycle for our sons.”

It was when their sons were young, more than thirty years ago, that Denise and Maryann first met.

“Our partners used to do stuff together, [like dealing drugs]. And that’s how we met,” explains Denise.

“Our house was like a railway station – it was always full with my partner’s friends. I couldn’t be bothered with other females – there was always too much bitchiness,” says Maryann. “But there was something about Denise, we just clicked.”

They were only able to see each other from time to time: “Only when the men wanted to see each other. That’s the only time chicks really got to see each other. Otherwise, we were stuck at home doing our job.”

When their partners stopped associating, Denise and Maryann lost contact.

Both women spent over forty years in abusive, controlling relationships.

“He was the boss.” says Denise. “I was sixteen. I thought it was normal. And my family didn’t want nothing to do with me after I’d run away from home. Then I had my kids. That’s what kept me there. I ended up staying for forty-five years.”

Eventually he crossed a line, physically assaulting Denise in front of their daughter: “We never fought in front of the kids, but I think he forgot our daughter was there. That was the end.”

Denise left and a restraining order was put out against her ex-partner. In the meantime, she was given emergency accommodation in central Auckland. For now, her daughter is living with another family member where Denise knows she’s safe.

Maryann also stayed in violent relationships for her children: “All I’d ever wanted was to be a mum. But home wasn’t happy. I wasn’t interested in anything except making sure my kids were safe.”

“It was very hard to walk away. I didn’t want to leave my sons. I left it until my sons were adults and could look after themselves. I used to say, “If you ever get home from work and I’m not here, you know why. It’s got nothing to do with you. I love you dearly, and I always will””.

“I tried to go earlier, but [my partner] always found me. This time, there was no going back. Once I got the chance to go, I got out that door and I ran.”

Maryann found temporary shelter through a women’s refuge, before being housed in the same emergency accommodation as Denise. It didn’t take them long to recognise each other and reconnect.

“For us to be put in the same place was just uncanny. We’ve stuck together like twins ever since – we haven’t left each other’s sides!”

It was while they were in short-term emergency accommodation that they both applied to live at HomeGround. The 80 apartments at HomeGround offer permanent homes for people who have experienced homelessness and hardship. Wrap-around support is available 24/7 to help tenants address physical and mental health challenges, addiction and trauma.

Maryann: “The more I read about HomeGround, the more I thought, I’d love to be living in a place like that.”

“I used to dream about having my own apartment with white shag pile carpet.”

Maryann was the first tenant to move into a HomeGround apartment in 2022 and Denise moved in two weeks later.

Maryann: “I loved HomeGround from the minute I moved in here. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I had the apartment I dreamed about. The only thing it didn’t have was the shag pile carpet.”

At HomeGround, Denise and Maryann have embraced the opportunities to help build a strong, supportive community, such as the weekly tenant’s lunch and hui, taking part in cooking classes and helping in the rooftop garden. They’ve finally found a place where they can feel safe and happy.

Maryann: “I just like being free, being able to do what I want, when I want. So that’s why I smile a lot these days because things are completely different. It’s lifted the stress off me, because I was permanently stressed before.”

Denise: “HomeGround is a godsend, I reckon. I’m free. I’m happy. I feel younger and I think it’s this place and banging into this woman again, my best friend! We get called double trouble! I think our friendship has kept us young. All we do is laugh and giggle and what’s the best medicine? Laughter!”